Happy Schnapps to perform
in DC at Inauguration

AP Washington DC. President-elect Donald Trump is reportedly having trouble making his the biggest, best inauguration in U.S. presidential history. The problems seem to boil down to securing A-list talent, and it appears that many performers are even turning down Donald Trump and his inauguration planners rather than affiliating themselves with the January 20 event.

Enter the Happy Schnapps Combo. This group of A-list musicians, performers, dancers and drinkers offered to perform at the inauguration for free, if Wenzel got some quality time alone with Melania. Travel details are being worked out, however Stosh has call dibs on the Lincoln bedroom at the White House. “I like Lincoln” said Stosh, lead singer and harmonica player for the group. “He freed the slaves” remarked Dombrowski.

Other than the Schnapps, the only “big names” who have agreed to perform at the Donald Trump inauguration with the event less than a month away are 16-year-old Evancho, the Rockettes, and, almost inexplicably, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.


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