Polka Power!

Pull My Finger

written by S.Sargent-sung by KLINK

Now I recall when I was young my father was my hero
In my eyes he hung the moon, the other dads were zeros
Peek-a-boo and hide & seek, oh the games we'd play
But there was one game that he loved I quickly learned to hate

I was sitting by the TV, having milk and Zingers
When dad walked in said "Com'ere once, come on boy pull my finger"
I went ahead and did it, I didn't know no better
Now mom tells me that I came to a good twelve hours later

Oh the paint would peel, the doors would warp, the fumes could make you cry
It smelled like some wild animal crawled up his leg and died
You could use ten pounds of potpourri, that awful stench would linger
We cleared the room and none too soon when dad said "Pull my finger"

Billy Beer and hard-boiled eggs at each and every meal
Baked beans and sauerkraut, that man had bowels of steel
Imagine what the price we paid because he ate that crud
We couldn't take him anywhere for fear he'd launch a scud

Now we saw Reba McEntire, the queen of country singers
We all asked for autographs but dad said "Pull my finger"
She went ahead and did it, she didn't know no better
Her makeup melted off her face, I think that dad upset her

Oh the paint would peel, the doors would warp, the fumes could make you cry
It smelled like some wild animal crawled up his leg and died
You could use ten pounds of potpourri, that awful stench would linger
We cleared the room and none too soon when dad said "Pull my finger"

Now dad would say "It wasn't me", I knew he was a liar
He said "There's an elephant under my recliner"
He'd even say "It was the dog", how could he try to blame it
We never even had a dog, if we did we never named it

Now you can call them pooters, barking spiders, squeaky stinkers
And shame on you if you should say "Com'ere once, pull my finger"
Dontcha go and do dat, now don't be getting cocky
You could push too hard and end up with a load down in your jockeys

Oh the paint would peel, the doors would warp, the fumes could make you cry
It smelled like some wild animal crawled up his leg and died
You could use ten pounds of potpourri, that awful stench would linger
We cleared the room and none too soon when dad said "Pull my finger"

Oh the paint would peel, the doors would warp, the fumes could make you cry
It smelled like some wild animal crawled up his leg and died
You could use ten pounds of potpourri, that awful stench would linger
We cleared the room and none too soon when dad said "Pull my finger"
We cleared the room and none too soon when dad...said..."Pull...my...finger"

HEY !!

You Can't Teach The Japanese To Polka

written by B.Soucy & S.Klein-sung by HORST

We got some friends across da sea, dey live way over dere
And a great hard-working people yes dey are
But I seen 'em out dancing, and holy smoke-a
You can't teach the Japanese to polka

Dey like to drink da saki, we like to drink da beer
Dey like to buy our buildings, we like to shoot da deer
Dey own halfa downtown L.A., dey really ain't no joke-a
But you can't teach the Japanese to polka

No you can't teach the Japanese to polka
Ain't got no music like it in dere land
No, you can't teach the Japanese to polka
It's a rhythm dat dey just don't understand

Mitsubishi...Toshiba...Honda...Toyota
Sony...Suzuki...Fuji...Yamaha
Dey got da greatest stuff, now holy smoke-a
But you can't teach the Japanese to polka

You can't teach the Japanese to polka
Ain't got no music like it in dere land
No, you can't teach the Japanese to polka
It's a rhythm dat dey just don't understand

Dey like da monster movies, we like da monster trucks
Dey like to sing karaoke, we like to shoot da ducks
We hope dey always be our friends, dey really ain't no joke-a
But you can't teach the Japanese to polka

No you can't teach the Japanese to polka
Ain't got no music like it in dere land
No, you can't teach the Japanese to polka
It's a rhythm dat dey just don't understand

HEY ! !

Suck 'Em Up

written by B.Soucy & S.Klein-sung by HORST

Dis is da story of a turd-shift guy
Dat is drinkin' in da morning and is sleepin' on da job
Dis is da story of a turd-shift guy
He was nottin' but a great big slob

Well he chased married women and he got into fights
And he cheated in cards at work every night
He got into trouble but he always got out
'Cause he knew just what to say

Suck 'em up boys I'll buy youse one,
I'll buy youse one, I'll buy youse one
Don't be a leaker, I'll buy youse one
And we'll drink 'till dey trow us out

He had a half-dozen shots by seven o'clock
Dere was a cute little bartender makin' him hot
He never got far when he tried to score
'Cause her husband walked into da bar

Well he slammed him in da gut den dey wailed on his face
Dere was blood and teeth all over da place
Da slob looked up trew his one good eye
And he knew just what to say

Suck 'em up boys I'll buy youse one,
I'll buy youse one, I'll buy youse one
Don't be a leaker, I'll buy youse one
And we'll drink 'till dey trow us out

He went after dis guy wit a broken glass
And da whole bar took turns kickin' his ass
A loser is a loser and he never learns
A lesson 'till he's down on da floor

Well he got caught cheatin' at cards one night
He said "Wait a minute boys, no need to fight
We'll settle dis all like gentlemen
And we'll belly on up to da bar"

Suck 'em up boys I'll buy youse one,
I'll buy youse one, I'll buy youse one
Don't be a leaker, I'll buy youse one
And we'll drink 'till dey trow us out

Suck 'em up boys I'll buy youse one,
I'll buy youse one, I'll buy youse one
Don't be a leaker, I'll buy youse one
And we'll drink 'till dey trow us out

HEY !!

Van's Polka

written by J.Krueger-sung by KLINK

I thank the Lord that I am from Wisconsin
And Manitowoc is my own home town
We got da greatest brats and finest cheese here
And lotsa nice cold beer to wash it down

So it's my whistle I must wet
I'm headed way out west on Calumet
Past Shopko and The Dog House almost there
To da greatest liquor store anywhere

I go by Van's, I go by Van's
I walk around the bottles and the cans
I go next door and get a Big Penny
I need a beer...dey don't got any !
And zo I have to go right back by Van's
HEY !!...HEY !!

Now Wenzel's not just selling beer and liquor
He's got the latest styles and clothes for you
From very trendy Happy Schnapps t-shirts
To pickled mushrooms for old-fashioneds too

Come see Wenzel, Tom, and Miss Yvonne
Buy a keg o'beer man, tie one on !
There's plenty of cool things for you to do
And Mark's passed out inside da cooler too

I go by Van's, I go by Van's
I walk around the bottles and the cans
I go next door and get a Big Penny
I need a beer...dey don't got any !
And zo I have to go right back by Van's
And zo I have to go right back by Van's
And zo I have to go right back by Van's
HEY ! !

Braunschweiger

written by B.Soucy-sung by HORST

I was hungry for a sandwich meat
Bought some at the deli on twenty-first street
I woke up, couldn't sleep last night
Made a big sandwich, right around midnight

Braunschweiger !
How come you taste so good ?
Braunschweiger !
Just like a lunchmeat should

Do mine baby wit de mayo on top
Pickles and lettuce, aw honey don't stop
I can't wait to have one tonight
Put a second layer on, it'll be alright

Braunschweiger !
How come you taste so good ?
Braunschweiger !
Just like a lunchmeat should

Braunschweiger !
How come you taste so good ?
Braunschweiger !
Eat anodder if I could

Well I hear your mama she da sandwich queen
Gets good bread down at da bakery
I woke up, couldn't sleep last night
Made a big sandwich, right around midnight

Braunschweiger !
How come you taste so good ?
Braunschweiger !
Just like da brown mush should

I say Yay, Yah, Yah...HEY ! !
How come you, how come you smell dat way
I say Yay, Yah, Yah...HEY ! !
I like to eat you every day
I say Yay, Yah, Yah...HEY ! ! (Oh...come on dere)

HEY !!

Hava Nagila

traditional (instrumental)

Potch On Da Dupa

written by B.Soucy & S.Klein-sung by KLAUS

I swore at my mom when I was five years old
She was going shopping, would not take me along
She washed my mouth out wit Ivory soap
And she gave me a potch on da dupa

She chased me down for two city blocks
Well I was so scared, I could not even talk
She dragged me to da privacy of our home
And she gave me a potch on da dupa

Now a potch on da dupa ain't gotta be bad
It can be a really good ting
Don't take dere crap, when dere listenin' to rap
Do da right ting...make dere butt sting !
You are da boss, in your house
Give dem a potch on da dupa

My pa took me to Herman's Bar
Well I got bored, he said "Get in da car"
Well I started bookin', did not get very far
Den he gave me a potch on da dupa

Now dat I am an old fart
I love all dem young frauleins
Dey wear leather and lace, when dere at my place
Den I give dem a potch on da dupa

Now a potch on da dupa ain't gotta be bad
It can be a really good ting
Don't take dere crap, when dere listenin' to rap
Do da right ting...make dere butt sting !
You are da boss, in your house
Give dem a potch on da dupa

Give 'em all a potch, give 'em all a potch, give 'em all a potch on da dupa
Give 'em all a potch, give 'em all a potch, give 'em all a potch on da dupa
Give 'em all a potch, give 'em all a potch, give 'em all a potch on da dupa
Give 'em all a potch, give 'em all a potch, give 'em all a potch on da dupa

HEY !!

Barley Pop

written by J.Durham-sung by KLINK

You Can Get Arrested

written by B.Soucy & S.Klein-sung by HORST

Now you can get arrested for drinking too much beer
Stopped for drunken driving, that's what I always fear
Da cop out on de highway he's da one who put me here
And you can get arrested for drinking too much beer

Don't let it happen to you !

My friend he got arrested for drinking too much beer
We went out on a Friday for a couple rounds of cheer
He didn't even drink much and he wasn't even drunk
But da cop what got him was a dirty rotten skunk

We drove on out of Trivers, 'bout 10:45
Take me home I need some sleep to get to work on time
We headed west on tree-ten, den south on county B
In da rear-view mirror flashing gumballs we could see

Da cop said "Your headlight's out, but I'll warn you dis time
And da speed limit is fifty, not fifty-four or five
Now sir have you been drinking?", My friend said "Just a few"
"Well step out of da car, we've got a couple tests for you"

"Now can you say your ABC's and walk in a straight line ?
And count forward and backward, da numbers one tru nine ?
Now follow da fluorescent pen, ohh there's one more test
Put your hands behind your back, hey...you're under arrest !"

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when dey come for youse
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when dey come for youse

'Cause you can get arrested for drinking too much beer
Stopped for drunken driving, that's what I always fear
Da cop out on de highway he's da one who put me here
And you can get arrested for drinking too much beer

Now my friend goes to driving school wit a guy named Tod
Dey just want to drive normal cars not some souped-up street rods
Da law says dat dere criminals, dey wouldn't hurt no one
Dey was just out on da town, tryin' to have a little fun
And you can get arrested for drinking too much beer

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when dey come for youse
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when dey come for youse
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when dey come for youse
Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when dey come for youse

Ohh he's a bad boy...drinking liquor and driving...stealing hubcaps
Smoking cigarettes...starting fights and causing trouble
He is no good...he's a dirtbag...lock him up...put him in jail
He is no good...he's a bad boy...such a bad boy...a real bad boy
And you can get arrested for drinking too much beer

HEY ! !

Drinkin' Man's Waltz

written by M.Seidl-sung by GUENTER

We drink, and drink, and drink some more
'Cause Wenzel he owns a big liquor store
We drink, we laugh, and now we zing
We're doing da drinking man's waltz

Da Happy Schnapps Combo are friends of mine
Dey like to drink and have a good time
Da Happy Schnapps Combo we drink when we sing
We're doing da drinking man's waltz

We drink, and drink, and drink some more
'Cause Wenzel he owns a big liquor store
We drink, we laugh, and now we zing
We're doing da drinking man's waltz

We drink, and drink, and drink some more
'Cause Wenzel he owns a big liquor store
We drink, we laugh, and now we zing
We're doing da drinking man's waltz

Please pass da beer, da schnapps, da wine
Give it to me it's a mighty fine time
No pushing, no shoving, no budging in line
We're doing da drinking man's waltz

We drink, and drink, and drink some more
'Cause Wenzel he owns a big liquor store
We drink, we laugh, and now we zing
We're doing da drinking man's waltz
We're doing da drinking man's waltz
We're doing da drinking man's waltz

I Made A Mistake

written by J.Liban-sung by HORST

Copyright 1996
Lyrics are property of The Happy Schnapps Combo
and are not to be used without permission

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